Creating the Life We Want:

Part I

By Aimee Shea M.A., CCHt

There are so many articles, books, movies and general information out there about how to manifest our ideal life - stories of people who have ‘figured it out' - risen to success, overcome a debilitating illness or accomplished an enormous goal they set for themselves.  So if it is as simple as everyone claims, why is it that so many of us are in situations that we really don't want to be in, why are so many of us unhappy, unmotivated or just in a state of inaction?  I often find myself saying, ‘I know what I should be doing, why is it that I can't apply those things to my life and change things'?  I've come to the conclusion that it is because we need a plan.  We need a coach of sorts to say; here's what you need to do - step 1, step 2, step 3.....  We not only need this plan, but we need someone by our side and inside our heads - every minute of every day - saying "No, that's not the best choice; things will be better if you choose this".  Does this seem like impossibility?  I asked that question - and after years of struggling - was given the answer.  An answer that was so simplistic and easy to follow - that I couldn't understand why everyone didn't do it.  I offer you here the beginning of this journey - by no means the whole plan - but the beginning.  I invite you to join me on this journey - a journey to redefine everything we've been taught - the beginning of creating the life we truly are meant to live.

The First Three Steps

An underlying truth of human existence is that we choose our behaviors.  We chose our frustration - our unhappiness, our feelings of emptiness - as a means of coping with a lack of something in our life.  We all have basic needs and when those are not met - we choose how to respond.  We all need to feel loved and like we belong, we need financial security in life, those things that make us comfortable, we need to feel like we have achieved something, freedom and independence.  In order to try to feel better in any of these areas, we consciously or unconsciously choose our behaviors.  So you ask - how do we choose our behaviors?  There are three steps that we take that shape our behaviors - our thoughts, our words and our actions.

Choosing our Thoughts

One of the most simplistic and most complicated concepts.  We know we choose what to think, but why do so many of us still operate under the impression that things happen to us?  We come home and say, "I've had such a bad day".  One of my favorite children's books is Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.  In the book Alexander wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and things just go downhill from there.  In essence, Alexander, and the rest of us, have CREATED that bad day with our thoughts.  Do you think that enlightened masters like Jesus, Buddha, Mother Theresa or the Dalai Lama had days when they dealt with ‘difficult people'?  Days when they had incredible, seemingly impossible obstacles to overcome?  Of course they did!  Even more so than we do today!  So what is the difference then, how did they still maintain that inner peace, that pure joy that exuded from each of them?  The answer is so simple it baffles me that we have taken so long to figure it out.  They all began by choosing their thoughts.  They each chose to have faith that God was within them.  Each of us is brought into this world in the same way, and we are all made up of the same physical components.  We are also all containers for our spirit, God, Buddha, or whatever you choose to call it.  Once we are able to realize that this duality exists by nature within all of us - the simplicity of choosing to think like God becomes easy. 

 "I don't think there is anyone who needs God's help and grace as much as I do.  Sometimes I feel so helpless and weak.  I think that is why God uses me.  Because I cannot depend on my own strength, I rely on him twenty-four hours a day.  If the day had even more hours, then I would need His help and grace during those hours as well.  All of us must cling to God through prayer" - Mother Theresa

Choosing Our Words

Once we are able to train our minds to monitor and choose our thoughts, we can then concentrate on choosing the words we speak.    The art of speaking and communicating is one we so often take for granted.  So many times I have found myself speaking without really thinking about my words, and later regretting what I said.  Once we pay more attention to our thoughts we can move to speaking with more deliberate thoughts.  The words you speak are your thoughts expressed.  Words are more powerful than thoughts because they send a more tangible energy out there into the universe.  If our thoughts create our reality, then our words expedite this process.

Choosing Our Actions

The final step is making sure our thoughts and words are in alignment with our actions.  I can think loving thoughts about you and tell you I love you, but if my actions are not loving, then I am not fully being that loving energy.  Actions are the movements of our words.  To act with thoughts of God is to embody God, to be God, to express God in all that you do. 

It seems like a tall order, but broken down so simply.......it all started to make sense to me.  All I need to do is think, then speak and then act according to these thoughts and words.  For me it all started with the thoughts.  Once I was able to control my thoughts in a situation, my words flowed from them, and when I stopped and thought about it it became easy to shape my actions.  By mindfully choosing our thoughts, words and actions in all situations the peace and connection to God that we experience is all-encompassing and unending.

"Your sole business in life is to attain God-realization.  All else is worthless" - Sivananda

In addition to making these choices we also all have this vision of what our perfect world would be like.  These visions often occur with thoughts like; If I only had __________ I would be happy.  Or, when I am able to ____________ I will be happier.  Part of creating our ideal life is to examine this perfect world, ask ourselves if this is what we really want, and then set up a systematic plan to make it a reality.  However, it is also important to remember that within the journey to our perfect world, which of course, never ends, because as soon as we accomplish what it is we think will make us complete, we discover there is really more we want or need.  This is how the world is evolving - and it is ok.  You just need to understand that if you wait for these ‘things' to happen until you are truly happy, you will be waiting your entire lifetime.  Instead we can choose our thoughts within this journey.  An example would be - I am working on completing my degree so that I can enter into the profession of my dreams and make more money.  However, I need to choose to enjoy the entire process.  When I am sitting down writing a paper at 9 o'clock at night, after I have worked all day and tended to my family, if I don't CHOOSE to enjoy the process then I am CHOOSING a lower vibration and lower quality of life at that moment.  It takes us stepping back and saying - what can I do right now to enjoy this?  Enjoy a cup of hot chocolate and listen to some calming music in the background while I type away?  Soak my feet?  Or simply give myself a reward when I am done.  Whatever it is - you have to create a situation for yourself that creates the positive energy - because if you don't do it - no one will do it for you.

Another key aspect of creating the life we want is creating ans sustaining relationships that support our perfect world.  For many of us this is the hardest piece of our life here.  However, these same simple principles apply to our relationships.  We need to remember that we choose the thoughts we think, the words we speak and the actions we take with our loved ones.  Some may say, wait a minute - I do not choose to have my husband ignore me or yell at me.  Maybe not, but you can choose your response to him.  You can choose thought of compassion, over reactionary thoughts of anger or resentment.  All it takes is a little more awareness of the thoughts that run through our head.  The next time this happens, slow your thoughts, take a step back, and remind yourself that the thoughts you choose shape your emotions.  So if you don't want to feel resentful or angry or hurt - don't think angry resentful or hurtful thoughts.  Instead, choose thoughts of compassion and love.  When he is yelling at you and saying you are lazy and you never do anything - take a step back and choose to think compassionately.  H is yelling at you because of the way he feels about himself - choose to send loving thoughts of healing to him so that he does not live another moment in an angry place.  Speak only loving words - refuse to let yourself react in anger, instead choose few words that really you only want the best for him.   By mindfully choosing these thoughts, words and actions in all of your relationships, you will experience a greater peace inside yourself. 

Once you make a commitment to yourself to eliminate complaining, blaming and criticizing from your habits - your toolbox of behaviors - they will slowly start to disappear.  It is not easy work, but it can be simply done.  We often are stuck in the mindset that if we could only be free of ___________ we would be happy.  We tend to think that what we are experiencing is happening to us.  We resist the idea that our sufferings are due to the behavior we are choosing.

Is it a secret?  Are we destined to live these separate lives and slowly figure things out one by one?  No, I don't think so.  I know we are moving into a time when this global communication is going to change the way we live our lives.  If I have figured out how to stop the struggle, stop the negativity from happening in my life - I know that it is my duty to share it with as many people as possible.

So here it is - the answer to my years of questioning - the plan so simple I can't help but adopt it into my very core -

Aimee Shea, CCHt, M.A. is a intuitive spiritual counselor, Reiki practitioner and teacher.  She is available for private readings and Integrated Energy Healing Sessions. You can read more about these sessions and other services at www.indigo-rising.net.